


Here we stand, at the end of the line

by SheenaWilde



Series: Seneschal Varel/Elyon Andras drabbles [3]
Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Origins - Awakening
Genre: Angst, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mute Warden (Dragon Age), Muteness, The Calling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-18
Updated: 2017-02-18
Packaged: 2018-09-25 10:59:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9816935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SheenaWilde/pseuds/SheenaWilde
Summary: After long years of serving as a Warden-Commander of Ferelden and Arl of Amaranthine, Elyon Andras hears his Calling on a morning.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [emocsibe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/emocsibe/gifts).



> Made for my friend [emocsibe](http://archiveofourown.org/users/emocsibe), for her prompt. :)

Elyon woke with a start from a horrible nightmare. He sat up on the bed and panted, trying to catch his breath as he stared at the blanket covering his legs. He could feel the sweat gathering on his skin, dripping down his back, leaving a cold trail and a nasty feeling behind themselves. He buried his face in his hands, gripping at the locks of hair at the front, and tried his best to calm down his rapidly beating heart. It didn’t matter that he was already awake, he could still hear the roar of the darkspawn, feel their presence, their closeness, and feel the call of their blood. It didn’t matter that his eyes were wide open and staring at the blanket, he was still watching the darkspawn gathering in the Deep Roads, waiting.

With a rush of fear-fueled energy, Elyon got out of bed and started dressing as silently as possible. When he had his robes on and his staff in his hand, he cast a last look at Varel’s sleeping form in the bed before stepping out the door. He walked down the corridors of the Vigil in a haste, then knocked on the wooden door impatiently. It took too long, far too long until it finally opened.

“Commander!” A shirtless Nathaniel appeared at the door and looked suddenly alarmed when he recognized who was bothering him at this hour. “Has anything happened? Should I wake Anders, too?”

Elyon quickly shook his head at that. No, he only needed Nathaniel.

_I need to speak to you in private. It’s urgent._

Nathaniel only nodded, and went back to the room to dress.

***

It was early morning still when Varel woke to someone knocking at his door. He rolled to his other side and opened his eyes to see if his lover was awakened, too, but found that side of the bed empty. He sighed, although it wasn’t a unique case – warden duty called Elyon away at the oddest hours and he often left without waking Varel. As much as Varel was loathe to admit, old age was catching up to him and he didn’t wake up most of the time.

That left him to open the door, though, so Varel stood up and walked over, opening it in front of whoever was searching them. He was a bit surprised to find Nathaniel there - usually the Commander took him everywhere.

“Good morning, Seneschal. I… I have to tell you something… unpleasant” Nathaniel started, his serious face even more stony than usual, his face frozen and his eyes hard. He wasn’t quite looking at Varel either, rather somewhere behind him. That… wasn’t a good sign. Varel braced himself for whatever was going to follow. “The Commander, well… The Commander left. He asked me to tell this to you and… that he apologizes for leaving the way he did.”

“Left? What do you…?” Varel started the question, his throat tightening in fear as he spoke. He had a feeling about what Nathaniel was trying to tell him, but that couldn’t be. He refused to believe that that was the case.

“Warden-Commander Elyon Andras heard his Calling today morning in the early hours” Nathaniel continued, solemnly telling Varel what he had to and visibly taking no pleasure from it at all. His face was as emotionless as Varel had ever seen it, and he could see the effort put into it. “He has left for the Deep Roads and asked me to deliver his goodbye. Also, from today on, I am the Warden-Commander of the Vigil’s and Ferelden’s wardens until further notice from Weisshaupt. I’ve already written to inform them.”

Varel couldn’t believe it. He must have heard wrong, he must still be dreaming, this couldn’t… No, this couldn’t be happening to him. It had been such a short time… No, Varel didn’t accept that, he refused to. He wasn’t going to let Elyon leave him alone like this. While leaving the door open, Varel hurried back to the room and started changing into his armor.

“Where did he go?” he asked as he was frantically putting on his clothes, throwing his nightclothes to the bed. He couldn’t care less about leaving the room tidy at this moment.

“I don’t know” Nathaniel replied shortly, but Varel didn’t buy it. He smelled lies better than a predator its prey. He had enough years behind him now for that.

“Don’t give me that. Tell me where he went!” he demanded as he started strapping on the metal, piece by piece, quickly buckling the belts.

“I don’t-”

“Look, Ser Howe, I don’t care what Elyon has said. If he is not coming back-” Varel started, but his voice wavered at those words. He shook his head and grabbed his sword quickly, chasing the emptiness in his back into its places, before aiming for the door. “I’m leaving whether you point me at the right direction or not.”

“But Seneschal!” Nathaniel stepped in front of him, effectively blocking him, then continued in a quieter voice. “He doesn’t want you to go after him. He wants you to live.”

“Nathaniel. If he is gone, he’s gone. But he cannot expect me to sit here knowing that he went down there alone to die. I need to be with him. I don’t have many years left in me, anyway. I’m old enough to decide how I want to go” Varel said, his eyes looking forward, never down, never at Nathaniel. He continued in a quieter, almost begging voice. “Tell me where he went. As I said, I’m going either way. You can only decide if I find him before either of us dies.”

Nathaniel couldn’t keep it up at that. A command was still a command, but he just couldn’t lie to a man like Varel, who had been kind to him so many times during his stay here, who had faith in him after he was recruited, whose trust he had earned with hard work and loyalty. Varel seemed to have weighed his options – and he had lived enough to know when it all stopped making sense.

“Alright. I’m not happy to disobey the Commander’s wishes, but if I don’t have a choice, I rather you don’t go to your death pointlessly” Nathaniel nodded with a sigh and looked up to meet Varel’s eyes for the first time that day. “He left two hours ago. I’ll show you which Deep Roads entrance he aimed for and if you march all day, you can catch up to him. He’s going to stop for the night to go into the Roads refreshed.”

“Thank you, Nathaniel” Varel nodded with a small smile. “I know you’re going to take good care of the Vigil and Amaranthine.”

“Thank you, Seneschal” Nathaniel returned the smile.

***

Varel was walking relentlessly. His muscles tensed and ached, protesting against the hard pace he was keeping, but he wasn’t going to slow down. He only planned one rest when he would have lunch, but other than that, he was going to walk until his legs could carry him. He was three hours behind Elyon and had to catch up to him. He knew it would have been an admirable feat from a young man, considering a warden’s enhanced stamina, and it seemed nearly impossible for him. He didn’t care. He couldn’t. From the day Elyon had first kissed him, he knew that he wouldn’t let him answer his Calling alone if that came before his time was up. It didn’t matter how many years had passed since then, he didn’t change his mind. He couldn’t go on with his life, withering away, knowing that Elyon died alone in such a gruesome way. That was unacceptable.

He had been a soldier before he became seneschal. He always thought he would die in a battle. This thought used to frighten him as a boy, then they brought him a sense of duty in his adult years. But then he lived, survived every battle where his comrades fell around him, and always returned, becoming a seneschal as the years passed by him. As safe and comfortable as that job was - except for Arl Rendon Howe’s temper, of course -, it threatened Varel with a slow death from old age and it hung over his head worse than any battle. Then came along the wardens and Elyon.

The stars were shining down at him brightly, beautifully, too beautifully for such a sullen night. But it was dark otherwise on the Plains, so Varel could see the fire flicker from afar. His exhausted body was begging for him to stop, to sit down and rest, but he could already see what he was searching for – he refused to collapse before he reached it. He pushed himself on and kept himself moving by thinking of Elyon. He would do it for him, there wasn’t such a big distance between them now.

His whole body screamed with relief when he finally saw the small fire and the lone figure sitting curled up beside it. If he still had the strength, he would have run the remaining way that separated them. Nevertheless, he picked up his pace as much as he could. When he was finally a few feet away from the fire, from Elyon, he stopped and stared at him. His back was towards him and he was staring forward – he was awake but deep inside his head, seeing things that only a warden could see.

“Elyon…” Varel said softly and his lover turned around slowly, watching him for a few moments before casting his gaze down. Varel crossed the distance and fell on his knees beside him, feeling his body’s relief, but he didn’t pay any attention to that.

 _You shouldn’t have come. This is not your time_ Elyon signed with trembling hands, and Varel reached out and took them in his.

“I know you think that, but it is. I don’t want you to die alone. And I don’t want to, either” he smiled at him bitterly and brought his hands to his lips.

Elyon still had his gaze turned downwards and didn’t make any moves to pull his hands away. Instead, after a few moments he leaned up and kissed Varel on the lips, then pulled back. He freed his hands gently from Varel’s grasp then.

_I’m glad you’re here._


End file.
